Temporary, but be Grateful

This life, it's temporary. It will end.

Have you ever lost your life? Stupid question..i know, of course you haven't, if you have..heaven must have internet access then.

Let me reprhase, have you ever feel like you shouldn't live? Ever feel like standing in the middle of a railroad and hoping for the train to cross? Or holding a knife so close to your throat with the intention of slicing it?

Well, I have.

When it crossed her mind to leave, I don't need to live.

I've known her for more than three years, now the mother of my child. We've had our ups and downs, and our downs are mostly mine. And recently came another one of mine.

I took a wrong turn, i took my eyes of the game, i conjured an error. Something that will linger for the rest of her life. But i need her to stay, for it won't be a life without life itself.

I've been living an ungrateful life; it goes easy on me [most of the time].

And now I need her to stay, I’m learning to be grateful.

All will end when she ends this. I need her, as much as life.

...

This life, it's temporary. What matters are only those that matters.

Life will end, but for the time being it won't (not until 2012 perhaps).

And hopefully Life will go on, everything will go on as they were. The Bee and nectar from the apple tree, the damp scent of air after the rain, the rainbow and it's seven colors (some will argue that it's six), Jakarta will still be flooded, my employer and it's excellent PnL, everything will go on until it all ends, in the mean time, be grateful for what you had and what you have [and probly what you will have also].

All this is temporary, but still, be grateful.

This will be my last post. See you guys in infinity.

It's raining outside, some of you grumble that you'll have a hard time on your way home, but some others will cheer because their land is watered and their crop can be harvested.

Music

This morning, the handsfree of my cell phone broke down, i was practically swamped. Can't do much of anything.

It's a bad [is it?] habit of mine to plug-in the earphones and hit 'Play' whenever at the office, this was done for two main reasons. The first will be i can't take it when co-workers created noises, can't think, and they can get really loud most of the times. But it's nothing compared to the noises in my head :(

I have enough doubt to demotivate an army

I have enough fear to keep children of the world awake

I have enough question but never answers

I have enough anger to pump Son Gohan in Super Saiyan 2 form forever

...

Music suppress the noises. If you can't shut loud noises, create louder noise.

...

I hate thinking too much :( I miss ignorance from time to time

ps: kaya orang stress bener ya? hahaha..

Wikipedia

Tons of internet users use Wikipedia, and some even rely on Wikipedia [though not entirely accurate]. But think about the wiki-worthiness of a topic. Think about things that people think that are big [or common] enough to be wiki-ed.

...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soelaiman_Reza_Poernomo

Clicked that already? There's nothing there..

...

Someday there will be..

I Question, Therefore SocietyOfSoul

Assalamualaikum,

Last Friday i went to pray and listen to the usual Friday preach [seriously, this time i listen, usually fell asleep, but not last Friday :)]

The preacher was talking about how people of certain old age are forgiven of their sins and assured haven. The preacher also added that the common age of the 'Ummat' is around 67 years [if i'm not mistaken, but that is not the point], and stated that only 10% of Indonesian died at the age of at least 67 [without stating his source and was the data a moving average or what!!] and he made his own conclusion that 90% of the Indonesian are not among the 'Ummat'.

I was furious..hmm..upset perhaps, furious is a really strong word i think. But i certainly felt like raising my hand and ask question. But somehow i didn't. Which brings me to a ramadhan night sometime in 1996, when my Father raised his hand and voiced an objection to that night's preacher's words [Pak Ibrahim, i usually call him that [not his real name though] and he'd call me Pak Zainal...hehehe..Miss You Pap!]. Belom senekat itu :D

Why? That is so not fair. The preacher took John D. Rockefeller as an example, Rockefeller died at the age of 98 [eligible for the haven criteria, a philanthropist] and stating that since Rockefeller was not one of 'us' he's unlikely to be havened. John D. Rockefeller, who from his very first paycheck, tithed ten percent of his earnings to his House. As his wealth grew, so did his giving, primarily to educational and public health causes. Isn't that a good thing? Just google him out, see how much he gave to the world.

The preacher got really excited, the example widened, this time he took on Albert Einstein as his subject. Stating that Einstein discovered so many things for mankind [and added that knowledge is a neverending source of good deed, even when the imparter passed away], but this is invalid for Einstein, because he was not on the same path as ours. Of which i find really hard to digest. This Einstein guy published more than 300 scientific and over 150 non-scientific works, if someone should be havened for their imparting-knowledge activities, Einstein'd be the first enlisted and deserve a president suite in that haven.

I stared blankly at the back of someone who was sitting in front of me at that time, and i think of what the preacher would say about Mother Theresa or Lady Diana. As their non-personal acquintance :p i'd say that they are much too kind for haven to miss [sure maybe Di and Theresa cheated once or twice on their exam when they were young, but who didn't? :)]

It's like a guilty verdict is given because of who we are, not what we do. Which later make me question whether i'm on the right path of righteousness or aren't i?

Who or what you chose to worship only benefits YOU. But, who or what you chose to help benefits OTHERS. It only makes sense that we should value the latter instead of the first [does sense still matters by the way?]

Wassalamualaikum.